


The Dark Universe's Dire Straits

by YmbyneMK



Category: Dark Universe - Fandom, The Mummy (2017), Universal - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Gender or Sex Swap, Nothing too sexual though, Part RPF Part Not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 19:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11297607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YmbyneMK/pseuds/YmbyneMK
Summary: The Mummy was a flop. Universal needs to figure out where to go from here. Chris Morgan comes up with an... Unconventional solution.





	The Dark Universe's Dire Straits

**Author's Note:**

> The Mummy and the Dark Universe as a whole (c) Universal

Universal Studios, June 30th, 2017.

Darren Grist, the head of the floundering 'Dark Universe' project sat at the end of a long oak table, starring daggers at the two men sitting at the end of the table. Alex Kurtzman and Chris Morgan, the creative leads, fidgeted nervously as they waited for the hammer to fall.  
"So," Grist began. _"Mummy_  is underperforming."  
"Wait," Morgan said. "Hasn't it made over $80,000,000 in China alone? We're well over the break-even point."  
"Chris," Grist said. "I can tell that you don't know shit about how the box office works. We're seeing maybe 60% of the domestic take, MAYBE 40% of the international. We're looking at 40 mil domestic and maybe, MAYBE, a hundred mil from overseas. Considering the budget on this PILE OF SHIT was 125 mil, that ain't looking so hot! Yeah, we've hit the break-even point - which was 300 worldwide, not 125 - but any profit we see from this is gonna be negligible at best!"  
"So where does that leave us?" Kurtzman asked.  
"The way I see it," Grist growled, "we have three options. Either we _Dracula Untold_  this shit yet again, we abandon the whole concept, or we retool the whole shebang."  
"Well, obviously," Kurtzman stammered, "we would prefer the third option. But _Bride of Frankenstein_ is too far along in development for any major changes to be made now."  
" _Bride of_ fuckin' _Frankenstein_ ," Grist muttered. "Don't worry about that one. Because our main idea for the retool is... Female protagonists."  
"Female- why?" Morgan asked.  
"It's working out pretty well for DC, isn't it?" Grist replied.  
"How would we make all the films have female protagonists when we've already established Nick Morton as a major character in the universe?" Kurtzman asked.  
"Either disappear him - worked fine for Marvel when they wanted to forget about _Incredible Hulk_  - or make him Nicole Morton."  
"OK, actually- I think I have an idea," Morgan said.  
"Well, let's hear it."  
"OK, when Nick sucked the life out of Ahmanet, he took something else - a X chromosome. So one day in Egypt, that kicks into effect and makes Nick Nicole."  
"Who'd play Nicole, though?"  
"I don't know. preferably someone young, cheap, and with comedy experience. We _do_ need to lighten the tone on these."  
"How about... Aubrey Plaza?"  
"Sure? I'm just a writer, Darren. The casting part's up to you."  
"If that's your outlook," Darren concluded, "then get to writing."  
"Yes sir."

Meanwhile, in the universe of Dakun 617.9 Delta...

[](http://sta.sh/0btupfds414)

Nick Morton was riding around Egypt on his horse. He had recently gotten word of a lead on a possible way to free himself of the whole Set thing. At the same time, he was desperately searching for a bathroom. His stomach had been churning all day, and he felt violently ill. He rode into a small town and proceeded to ask for a bathroom with running plumbing. He may be possessed with a God of death, but he sure as hell wasn't gonna leave behind a bucket of vomit for the locals to deal with. Finding a toilet, Nick kneeled down at its base and hung his head over the bowl. At that moment, though, his illness suddenly cleared. Nick didn't know it, but the cause of his sickness had been his DNA getting actively rewritten by the life-energy stuff he had taken from Princess Ahmanet. Confused, Nick stood up and dusted his knees off. Suddenly, he collapsed in sheer pain as his new DNA worked to reform his body. He began to sweat profusely as his metabolism went into overdrive to burn off what little fat there was on him, leaving him with a thin and shapely waist. He spasmed as the extra fat in his legs and arms shifted around under his skin, bunching up and pushing out his breasts, which pressed up against his already-small shirt. His hair grew out quickly and painfully, feeling like someone was yanking his scalp like a lawnmower cord. His lips plumped up by a bit, and his body hair quickly withered and died. Finally, Nick placed his now-dainty hand on his dick, feeling it recede into his body. Eager to end the experience, he pushed on it, pushing it in until _she_  could feel her fingers entering an empty space. Pulling herself up, the flustered and sweaty Nick sat in the porcelain bathtub in a weak attempt to cool off.

[](http://sta.sh/01b0a32i8zoo)

At that moment, her partner Vail burst into the room, intent on helping his friend out. To say he didn't expect what he found would be an understatement. One lengthy discussion of scientific conjecture over several bottles of water later, Nicole Morton and Chris Vail set out for London, intent on getting Dr. Jekyll's help with the situation.

Meanwhile, back in Quadwal 3760.925 Zeta...

Chris Morgan had written yet another screenplay. Truth be told, he didn't quite know where they came from, considering he never seemed to be conscious during the writing process. But that was a worry for another day. He sent the script for _The Mummy: Return of Ahmanet_ off to his higher-ups, and waited for the final product to see the light of day. Even though it was mostly on the same level of quality as the first, critics praised the film for its audacity to make Nicole a trans woman lead. It made $800,000,000 worldwide, and the Dark Universe was saved.


End file.
